TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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