No more Irish car bombs ever.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
