remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
