Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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