I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
