I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
