Acid is not a monday night drug
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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