I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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