i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She bit a glass in half.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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