remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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