U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
