Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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