when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
