People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
