There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
