Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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