Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
