i just had sex bonerless
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize