My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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