You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize