There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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