i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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