I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
