The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
