some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
