You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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