That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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