At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
