Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You took a bar mat shot.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
