Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You ruined the universe
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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