Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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