my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..