Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
