so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
