Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
