i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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