All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
