Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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