South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
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