Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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