need another drink. this is the easiest way
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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