saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
