I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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