he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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