Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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