guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Bring me that man meat
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
