We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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