I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
