Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm passing your future prison.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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