i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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