From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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