The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
