Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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