I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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