After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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