if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
