it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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