My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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