Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
