i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Say something about gay babies.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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